Well, within an hour of writing that post I heard from the doctor who led the CD 68+ research and he replied to my question on his opinion in my case. He of course couldn't answer me specifically without seeing me, but he said the best chance for survival is the high dose chemotherapy with stem cell transplant despite macrophage content.
And then, minutes later I check the mail and I got a letter from Dr. Gonzalez in NY who I'd applied for a second opinion. He said that cure rate for standard treatment for Hodgkins was too great for him to recommend nothing but that. So he won't see me.
So two doctors within an hour recommend stem cell transplant. And stem cell transplant has a probable chance of not working in my situation. Great.
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I must say, as always (& I don't mind sounding like a broken record one bit), I am in complete & utter awe of you. We all have "shtuff" going on....and then I get into this foolish mood of feeling entitled, like the Universe owes me something for my being here, & I start feeling sorry for my foolish self....BUT then I start thinking of you, Evie, and Adrienne (my friend who recently passed away after a horrific injury in a muay-thai fight) and look at all of the things you have and are going through so much unnecessary and undeserving "shtuff"....how pity and foolish am I to allow my ego to even show its face....I am truly looking up to you guys and witnessing the fight you have put up....it's beyond awe-inspiring, sister!!!
ReplyDeleteLast time that we spent girly time together, I enjoyed it soooo much, but I just want to listen, learn, and follow your example....I mean, what a honor to be able to be a part in such a magnificent healing journey that you have so bravely ventured on.
Love you more than words....sending you all the love & light in this world to lead you down your path!