Confessions from the IV room

First of all....can I just say AAAaaaaaaahhhhhh!  Our wedding is in TWO short days!!!!  I am excited beyond the point of excitement.  Sometimes I feel like I might even burst.

Everything is coming together.  We are almost packed, and ready to go...although I am sure it is going to take longer than I thought to finagle everything in the car!  I've had such meaningful interactions with so many people in preparation for this wedding. I can see why it is so special. For example, Chuck, Michael's father, came to visit last weekend for the bachelor party.  We found ourselves, the three of us, sitting around the living room table tying pretty bows around the honey-flavored bee soap that will be in gift bags.  I had to just stop and soak in that moment.  There are so many more memories I have just like that one...of family,and friends, and connection, and love all filtered towards one goal.  Whew, it is enough to blow you right up!

So thank goodness for this wonderful experience.  We've enjoyed all the "leading up to part"...and now we are embarking on the "there part!"  Michael, Curtis and I head out in just 3 hours to spend the next three nights in the mountains celebrating life and love with everyone we care about. 

And as yin follows yang, now onto the not so fun stuff that is just a part of life.  I haven't updated in awhile, and so much has happened, yet as I sit here, I am unable to even give you the answer to the question "What is Next?"  We've thought we've had it figured out 10 times by now, but it changes, and it has changed again as of this morning, exactly 1.5 hours ago. The balloon was deflated again in my health care arena, and it feels real, real deflated.

The back story...
I think the last time I wrote I had just suffered through the bone marrow biopsy.  GOOD news is that my bone and marrow are cancer free!!!  And look healthy.  Whew...

By some delicious twist of fate, my dad was connected with an old friend of his that had just interviewed Jeanne Drisko, an oncologist who uses high dose vitamin C IV therapy to treat cancer.  She is working through the University of Kansas, and mainly uses it as an adjunct to traditional cancer treatments.  She has amazing success with these therapies.

Last week we went to Progressive Medical clinic, the integrative medical clinic in town, because we know that they can administer these IVs.  They also have a team of great docs who are a wonderful resources to have on our side.  The next day, I was in the clinic, sitting in the chair, with IV in arm.  bam...we jumped right in with lots of positivity.  I was surrounded by patients ranging everywhere from breast, to bladder, to brain, to colon cancer.  All had different stories, all were doing the treatment plan that worked for them..some blending traditional with non, some strictly non-traditional, some coming after being disappointed with the tradtional type. I definitely felt like the new-bie, but they welcomed me and showed me the ropes...like how to pee with your IV bag, ...etc.

Monday I went in again for the IV.  This time they had me start hyperbaric oxygen therapy too.  That is strange.  You sit in this tube for an hour and they pressurize you, and you are supposed to get hyperoxygenated.  It is relaxing though, once you get past the claustrophobic fears.

Tuesday my dad got us connected with Dr. Drisko in Kansas. We had a phone consult.  I can't tell you how lucky I am to have a parent's with connections like they do in the healthcare field.  She blocked out 1.5 hours of her time to dedicated just to us.  She educated us a lot more in the vitamin C therapy, and how it worked.  It seems pretty good, and she's had a lot a lot of success stories.  She even had one patient who's lymphoma came back.  He didn't want to do chemo, so he did strictly the C iv's.  He's been cancer free for 7 years!!

One thing we came away with from her talk is that we don't have to rush.  She counseled again that it might be wise to visit a fertiltiy specialist just to know our options.  This ABVD therapy can cause me to go into premature ovarian failure, i.e. menopause.  This scares the living hell out of me.

She also made us realize that these vitamin C IVs could shorten the chemo needed, and could probably also make us feel real comfortable with not doing the radiation.  Which is  BIG plus.  There is even the small little chance that these could cure me.

She said, get in that clinic and do as many IVs as you can.  So I did. I came back Wednesday, and am now sitting here Thursday.  It seems VERY hopeful that this treatment can be helpful.  We kind of decided that I'd take a couple of weeks, or a month to just do this, along with heavy detox, sauna, diet, and nutrient repletion before deciding about the chemotherapy.  Get all the ducks in a row...And if we do these IVs we don't have to worry about the waiting part...because it is likely killing the cancer!

And then...the bomb drops.  Hard.  And out of nowhere.  I was glowing...everyone said so this morning at the clinic.  I am about to get married, I am feeling SOOoooo happy.  Just beaming.  And as I sit waiting for my IV, the nurse calls me away to talk to the doctor.

The one blood test that you have to have done before you can embark on the C journey is G6PD.  It is an enzyme that if you have a deficiency in, and you take the C IV, you can cause red blood cell hemolysis and anemia.  It is a genetically inherited deficiency. It is usually found in black men.  No one expected I'd have a problem with this.  But guess what...I have it.  And I can't do Vitamin C IVs. 

So I loose it all over again...crying just as deeply as I did when I found out I had cancer. That deep primordial cry.  From the depths of my soul.  And it hurts...

.
.
.

They want to give me IV glutathione and lipoic acid.  I ask for magnesium, and they didn't argue.  So I sat, with magnesium flowing through my veins, trying to relax and practice that damn art of accepting it.

I am feeling a little better right now.  I am trying to focus on the excitement of the weekend.  I am manifesting that feeling I had this morning when I walked in this building.  One thing I've learned since starting this, is that you get used to anything, it just takes a bit of time to digest it.

Guess I should sign off..they unhooked me from the IV a little bit ago...Time to go and pack!!!  And love and live and give lots and lots of hugs.

much love to all of you reading along. you are with me on this journey. 
photo by:  www.paintingsilove.com/.../20287/fire-yin-yang