The roller coaster ride

So, I got the port put in today.  I was full of nerves from my last experience with the bone marrow biopsy.  I think I also lost it as I was waiting in the waiting room because I felt like this is really it.  This is no game, and we are starting.  Tomorrow I get my first chemotherapy treatment.  I have to say, it wasn't as bad as the bone marrow biopsy...but it was a close second.  This time I was saved by Prince Valium.  So that helped things. 

What a crazy roller coaster road of emotions.  The wedding weekend was ....  I can't even put into words the joy I felt.  Yes, yes, definitely a peak experience time and time again.  The blessing way, the lovely rehersal dinner, bonfire, drumming, dancing, laughing...The easy going Saturday morning with the women in my life bustling like bees all around primping and preening.   I remember so vividly sitting in the upstairs of the cabin with my three bridesmaids doing each others hair and make-up while my mom sat so sweetly on the bed.  Girl talk.  Female bonding.  The sky was vivid blue, the windows open with the view of the mountains, and the breeze blowing through and cleansing us all.   And then moving to the next room with Michaelle and Lia doing the same thing.  Lia is right, commune life has its appeal. 

The wedding was SO perfect. I can't think of a single thing that went wrong.  Michael was SO handsome, I couldn't keep from kissing him constantly.  I almost held it together.  But who are we kidding...we knew I couldn't make it through a wedding without shedding some tears.  The weather was perfect, the setting was perfect, the land was magical...in fact the whole night felt like a fairy tale. 

I loved getting to see friends I haven't seen in awhile---if even only for a second.  To hug them, and connect.  The family who came to town just for the event...ahhhh....family is a GOOD thing. 

Our first night in the wedding cabin on Neverland was by far the most romantic night of my life so far.  We walked in the cabin, to find what seemed like hundreds of candles lit.  Music was playing, the full moon was out.  It was a night I'll never forget. 

Sunday was delightful getting the last seconds of love from all the visiting guests. 

The weekend was SO full.  My reserves are full.  My love and joy meter was full.  And what more could I ask for before I embark on this next journey. 

Monday we slept in.  Curtis was pooped too and didn't even bother us to get up!  Michael and I took the day off work to be together.  We got my blood drawn again to just double check this enzyme deficiency that might keep me from being able to get the Vitamin C IV's.  Then we headed to the clinic to get an IV of some good juju...glutathione and lipoic acid.  We ended our honeymoon by going to the Dekalb Farmers Market and buying all organic produce and grains to start our new lifestyle on the right foot! 

And then...as par for the course...I didn't sleep a wink last night.  I had a doctor's appointment today and for some reason, that is a sure fire recipe for insomnia.  I also started having this real pain in my neck...like the kind I had in early August.  And sure enough, when I woke up this morning, my neck had gotten worse.  Puffy and painful. 

So yes, it is time.  We are to get this ball rolling.  We decided not to wait for the test results for the enzyme deficiency issue.  Even if they were wrong, this vitamin IV therapy will be adjuctive to the chemo.  We are just hoping that it will keep me from having to get radiation therapy...among other things like infertility, extreme fatigue, etc...

Krishan and Augie came over tonight just to say hi.  It was so nice to see them and relive the memories of the weekend.  Mom took care of me today at the doctor for the port procedure, and then Michael came home to help lift me up from lying down, and vice versa.  They say it'll take a few days to not feel the pain from the surgery. 

I just got the sweetest e-mail from my new mother-in-law.  So yes, as I sit here on the eve of my first chemo treatment, I have much to feel grateful for.  And much to be scared of.  I just hope I can sleep tonight. 

On that note....sweet dreams to all!!!