First of all, thanks to everyone who has taken the time to send messages and leave voicemails (I haven't been the best at responding). Your words give me strength and make me feel like I am on this journey not just with my immediate family, but with an army of folks who support me and love me, and that alone makes the world a better place and leaves me in a better place to conquer this thing.
I went to work today thinking I'd go and help tie up things, but it was hard. It is hard to go and realize that I can't be all and do all. Fortunately I work with a bunch of amazing people who can step up and take charge and pick up my slack. They are supportive and encouraging, and know I will be back to put my best foot forward (something that has been lacking for a long while).
So I start chemo tomorrow. ICE therapy. It is 3 days of chemo, I have a pump installed for a continuous infusion. Then I go back again in 3 weeks for more. I'll be sick again for Michael's birthday which makes me very sad (he is so sweet though and doesn't seem to care). Fortunately Lia has offered to share her birthday celebration with Michael in a couple of weeks--go karts and video games!! sounds perfect :). And Michaelle has offered to come over on Friday and bring cake and celebrate Michael even though I'll be sick on the couch. (sounds like last year!) I feel so lucky to have such amazing friends to pick up where I lack.
We hope that after two infusions of ICE that my PET will show no signs of disease. This is when we start the conditioning phase of the SCT. They will give me Nupagen to mobilize my bone marrow to produce stem cells. Then it will take three days to harvest my stem cells. Once that is done I'll have the atomic bomb dropped on me to kill every last ornery cancer cell in my body. I'll be in quarantine for the next month as they replace the stem cells and rebuild my immune system. This will leave me cancer free and ready to rebuild my new cancer-free life.
Patty today found an amazing story of the battle and recovery and the mind/body connection. I've been drawn to qigong for awhile, and my acupuncturist supports it wholly. I think there is something to this...http://www.bobellal.com/articles/standing-post-meditation/
So I look forward to my meditation group tonight with Mary and Patty and I am going into this next round with hope and positivity and I will visualize these drugs working to put down this disease in my body.
Next round...here we go...I am ready!
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Awesome! I am ready, too, to stand by you all the way! Love, Mom
ReplyDeleteHey girl! I'm sending you lots of strength as you face this challenge. DON"T WORRY ABOUT letting others take up the slack! You don't have to be superwoman all the time. This was so hard for me with my back pain too. You are a smart, loving, hard-working, productive, fun, insightful, growth-oriented woman even if you can't be as productive right now due to a serious health condition. Let yourself rest. And unfortunately everyone will be in the same position at some time or another. Then you can help pick them up.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I know this wasn't your desired path, there is a time and a place for the medical "big guns." And I look forward to the health and the peace of mind that it will give.
Thanks so much for keeping us up-to-date with the blog. You really are a rockstar; you continue to shine despite the bumps in the road.
Love, love, love,
Cass
Your resiliance during this period continues to astound me.
ReplyDeleteGo, SuperEve, Go!
you guys are awesome!! Cass, thanks so so much for this pep talk full of love and encouragement. I know you've been through the battlefield, and you know how it can change you. Much love to you!!
ReplyDeleteWe totally need to get the Skype thing figured out so we can video chat with you while you're in quarantine. Maybe I can talk Robert into putting on a puppet show with me. :) -Bonnie
ReplyDelete