Daily Mantra

I will only need 4 rounds of chemotherapy (8 treatments).
I will not need radiation therapy.
I will not go into premature menopause.
I will learn how to keep my body healthy so that this will not happen again.

I think this every morning when I wake up.  And several times throughout the day when I am feeling down. 

The allopathic medical treatment of Hodgkins lymphoma is very successful.  90% cure rate.  This is incredible.  The standard therapy is just that, standard, and has proven itself.  That treamtment calls for 6 months of chemotherapy (12 treatments), and six weeks of daily radiation.  My tumors are spread throughout my neck, cervical lymphnodes and chest.  So this means pretty widespread radiation.

Side effects of chemotherapy--heart damage, lung damage, peripheral neuroapthy, loss in libido, and premature menopause. 
Side effects of radiation--increased risk for breast and lung cancer, and thyroid disease. 

BUT, these therapies treat what you come to the doctor to treat.  Lymphoma. 

We've made the decision to combine complementary therapies to hopefully reduce side effects, and reduce duration of chemo, and avoid radiation. 

It is not recommended by my oncologist, although he knows I am doing it.  It is not covered by insurance and will cost about $15,000. Not to mention the $6,000 that I have to pay to Kaiser for what is not covered.  The complementary treatment is expensive, and also not proven effective via large double blind placebo controlled studies that everyone wants.  It is not hocus pocus though, and is backed by several scientifc papers, and MDs who are using it in their cancer practices. 

My heart believes it will work.  That is why I wake up every morning, make my vitamin shake, pack up the computer, and head to Progressive Medical where we are taking a gamble.  But mantra in mind...and brain intact in thinking that I am fighting this beast in a gentler way makes me feel like it will all be worth it.  When I get down about expenses, these strange feelings are evoked. ... like how could I put a price on my healthcare?  My life?  What is it worth?  Is it worth working a few more years before Michael and I can buy land in the mountains and make a living there?  Is it worth perserving my fertility?  Is it worth preventing future cancers?  Well, I can say yes, it is.  SOOOoo the mantra:

I will only need 4 rounds of chemotherapy (8 treatments).




I will not need radiation therapy.



I will not go into premature menopause.



I will learn how to keep my body healthy so that this will not happen again.